Ending a relationship is a very stressful event in anyone’s life. If you have ended a relationship, you may have a confusing range of painful and distressing emotions and reactions.

Normal reactions

At times you may have felt:

  • rage and anger, guilt and remorse, or relief
  • fear, insecurity and rejection
  • ambivalence and confusion.

You could also:

  • experience high and low mood swings
  • eat too much or not enough or drink more alcohol
  • have nightmares or sleeplessness or feel extremely tired
  • feel unable to function normally
  • have a sense that this can’t be happening.

All of these reactions to ending a relationship are normal, and for most people, they settle down. If you feel unsafe or feel things are getting out of control and, especially important, if you feel you aren’t looking after your children, it’s time to get help.

You could get help from family and friends, from a counsellor or your GP. You can also phone the Family Relationships Advice Line on 1800 050 321.


Ending a relationship always involves change and loss. The changes may affect you:

  • partner, children, friends and relatives
  • familiar roles, routines and place of living
  • full-time parenting role
  • emotional and financial security
  • lifestyle
  • sense of who you are
  • dreams and plans for the future.

During this time, try to look after yourself. You will have a lot to work your way through but make sure you eat well, get some exercise, spend time with friends, and do things that take your mind off your worries and anxieties.

The good news is, given time, most people face these intense feelings, manage the changes and go on to lead fulfilling and happy lives.


Our counsellors can support you through the end of a relationship with your ex-partner in Relationship counselling or on your own in a Personal Counselling session.

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